Improve Communication with the Coach-Approach

One of the additional benefit of a coach approach includes improved communication, staff using their strengths, and better risk-taking.

Just to recap of what coaching is-

partnering with clients to maximize their personal and professional potential we don’t act as a subject matter expert -mentoring consulting or advising we are equals working towards the client’s goal and a coach approach means using a method of asking instead of telling, providing the what and not the how

So how does a Coach Approach improve communication? You might think if I use a command and control approach- when I am telling them not just the what but also the how- it leaves very little wiggle room for them to make costly errors that require rework and lost time.

And there are certain situations where command and control make perfect sense- military operations, trauma room triage, and action, compliance with safety and regulations. But in areas that do not require a strict adherence to protocols – asking leaves room for fleshing out details, inquiring about primary, secondary, and tertiary objectives. Not just what we want to be done but how we want to go about doing it. When we resort to telling, it shuts down parts of our brain involved in higher executive functions and activates more primitive areas of the brain involved in fear. This means important abilities such as empathy and innovation are left disconnected in the conversation. Positive involved conversations build trust – vs directives that erode trust. A coach approach conversation works in our pre-frontal cortex – or our executive brain that amplifies our success rate in ensuring intent matches impact.

When we remove asking from our toolkit and resort to telling it leaves our listener in a state where they must make a number of inferences about what they have been told. They make assumptions about the leader’s intent and build on those assumptions to complete a finished product. By integrating asking we share the story we are telling ourselves with our inferences with one another to correct as we go. By using a coach approach we remove ourselves from ‘me’ and start building ‘we.’

How does a coach approach improve staff utilizing their strengths? If we resort to telling staff not just the what but also the how it forces them to use just one method of achieving the objective. It relies on the leader’s experience at a previous time and space where the conditions may no longer be present. “If I say this is how you teach a course – I’ve done it- it worked for me- don’t waste time” It eliminates the possibilities of the employee reflecting on multiple learning experiences they have undergone, new trends in technology and social media, learning styles of multiple generations and so on. But if as a Leader I share “This is what we have promised to the company, and here’s the result we are aiming for” This allows the employee to use what they are strong in – recruit others and their strengths, evaluate methods, tools, and technology. This personal reflection allows them to grow their strengths, learn new things, and become invested in a product they are responsible for. They may share options and ask for advice but ultimately have far more autonomy, develop mastery and integrate the purpose of the project – these three factors are more motivating than money (once they are adequately paid).

Imagine yourself- being assigned a project. You’re not only told the objective and key performance measures but told how to do it- nearly every step. How motivated are you? It feels a bit like drudgery. But in the same scenario instead of being told how – you are told- “bring me three proposals with their benefits and risks.” You might feel you have autonomy, and the ability to shine. To demonstrate your strengths. I bet you would have a bit more excitement.

And this brings us to a third benefit of the coach approach- improved risk-taking. With this coach approach of asking – not telling, and increased autonomy also involves more risk. When the manager tells not just what but how- theoretically it is for the purpose of reducing risk and guaranteeing success. That all of the previous conditions still exist and this implementation will perform just as the last. What’s wrong with that? Well, for one, it doesn’t grow or improve performance. A little like the argument of “we’ve always done it this way” or “why fix what isn’t broken?” Two, it leaves no room for growth in the market, customer expectations, or innovation. Three, it doesn’t teach employees how to fail – but fail fast. When coach approach conversations happen there is a discussion of potential obstacles and remedies should they occur. It tries to anticipate performance under the current conditions. And in building that trust we build a safety net for failure. Smart failures happen when we are testing an approach – in the same way, we create a hypothesis for a science experiment- we aren’t emotionally attached to the outcome- we are simply striving to prove a repeatable outcome. If we fail- we know leadership has our back and we can quickly course correct to meet the objective.

Every great leader has had plenty of failures, and they learn to fail fast. When we play it safe – we don’t innovate. Innovation is the lifeblood of today’s commerce. We need innovation to grow and keep us engaged and excited about the future. We need to teach our staff how to fail and how to recover. By regularly engaging in coach approach conversations we limit the impact of failure and increase recovery speed. When we share in the anticipation of challenges- we build trust, psychological safety and increase team performance.

Are you convinced? Do you want your own team to learn coaching skills for leaders to have better conversations? Increase engagement, trust, and innovation? Schedule a webinar by emailing: shawna@shawnacorden.com

This brings us to our tool of the week: Transparency

Transparency is being direct about your intentions so you can ensure your conversations are having the right impact.

Here’s what it might look like. Gina is an outstanding performer. She makes all her numbers but she sometimes leaves her colleagues feeling like the numbers are more important to Gina than they are.
Gina’s manager, Emily, feels she must intervene.
Emily asks Gina to schedule a meeting to talk about progress. Emily opens the meeting by sharing her observations. “Gina I called this meeting to let you know about my observations in your interactions with your colleagues. It is my intent to show you how you are making your colleagues feel. With this information I expect your courtesy and mannerisms to improve.” Pause to allow it to sink in – Emily has broadcast three things here: she has observed behavior that is eroding rapport with her co-workers, she wants Gina to see it, and she wants it to change so that Gina’s co-workers feel valued. Gina while uncomfortable should feel there is no hidden agenda from Emily. Emily then shares that Gina can be rude, not taking the time to greet her co-workers, and the impact it has on them. Emily shares she expects her staff to be courteous, polite, and friendly. The culture of the office depends on good rapport between colleagues. Now that Emily has delivered the ‘Performance management” of the message she can put on her ‘coach approach’ hat. Begin asking questions. Learn Gina’s intent. Hear about how Gina seeks to improve her approach, what might get in the way, and what Gina’s commitment is to solve the problem.

By being direct and transparent- Emily has put Gina’s performance concern in a more achievable light. She has shared what she expects to change and what it must change to. Gina does not need to fear ‘another shoe about to drop’ or that her employment is at risk. She knows exactly what Emily expects and why, but has allowed Gina to determine her options of how.

Transparency builds trust. And Emily’s ongoing conversations with Gina will ensure her shifts stay on track.

SO HERE’S YOUR fieldwork –because COACHING WITHOUT ACTION ISN’T COACHIng – IT’S JUST ENTERTAINMENT

Is there a situation in your home or work that deserves transparency? A declaration of how you’d like to see things change? Schedule a time to have that conversation, and once you’ve shared your intent and checked for the impact – move to that coach approach by asking questions about how that could be achieved. You’ll be glad that you did.

I can provide a webinar for your team teaching Transparency in conversations and other core Coaching Skills For Leaders email me shawna@shawnacorden.com