A Leader Needs An Ally

In keeping up with our theme of the self aware leader – I want to talk about the unique challenges of leadership – especially executive leadership.

One of the most often cited benefits of working with an executive coach is a partner. This is a partner that doesn’t judge and is aligned with your goals. This is a natural part of the coaching equation. Coaches don’t have our own agendas, we sign up to help our clients achieve theirs.

Clients cite me as their safe space. Where they can think out loud and not worry about the ramifications of their statements. Often when subordinates hear a leader think aloud – they just go and make it happen – as if that wondering aloud was a command. Subordinates also are affected by the decisions leaders make and so they listen with the angle of ‘what’s in this for me?’

One area where I might challenge a leader is if I think they have a blindspot or I want to keep them accountable to their goals. Generally I am working with them – using their vocabulary, analogies and keeping on their pace. However, if I feel something isn’t quite right- I may delicately choose to break that rapport – to be a bit provocative-to challenge. This is where that famous Dr. Phil quote comes in – where his guests have probably made a few poor decisions and he mirrors it back to them by asking “And how is that working for you?”

This is part of my job as a partner and an ally. My clients need to trust I am challenging them for a better result, to keep them honest, or reflect something they may be considering is not in alignment with who they are.

As I talked about last week with curiosity – I am trying to be aware of all my biases, voice them if necessary, and help them with their agenda. It’s not about me separating myself from my clients and judging them – I want to hold up their values to them – and ensure they are in integrity – whole.

All of us need allies – we need accountability. Whether it’s the bathroom scale, your yearly doctor’s wellness visit, or a coach- we all need someone to help us be the person we can be- especially when it may be tempting to relax a little.

There are some famous accountability partners in history – part competitor, part ally – these are the people who make us better. Every great athlete, politician, inventor, magnate- had someone keeping them on the path.

How can you create this for yourself? And exactly what do you want to be held accountable for? For execs – I recommend the coach partner as your ally. This is someone who only has YOUR agenda and your topics are confidential. Depending on your field you may have a fellow practitioner who is in a different company or market segment- perhaps a spiritual advisor – or a great friend. But you need to ensure two things of the people you choose- 1) They have your back 2) They will call you on your antics when they are out of line – and you’ll know it and respect it.

Are you a leader who needs greater self-awareness? An Ally to keep you accountable? I work with clients one on one to increase their awareness and build trust between themselves and others. The content of our conversations are confidential. It’s part of the coaching code of ethics. Let’s do a chemistry check and see if we are a good fit by emailing : shawna@shawnacorden.com

Which brings us to our tool of the week: The accountability question list

Marshall Goldsmith introduced this topic to me years ago and I have been fascinated ever since. He created a list of questions that when answered the affirmative meant he was living his daily life in a way that ensured he was on track in the short and long term. He was embodying his values. They were questions that ensured he was loving his family as he wished – keeping up with his health and so on. Each day he met with his partner and they asked him his list of questions. Marshall asked his partner – his list. Marshall is a very busy man – he could have said ‘I’ll do this weekly’ but no – he chose to do this daily – it was that important.

What are 10 -20 questions that when answered affirmatively would ensure you were on track?

SO HERE’S YOUR fieldwork –because COACHING WITHOUT ACTION ISN’T COACHIng – IT’S JUST ENTERTAINMENT

Spend some time brainstorming these questions – and notice how tightly they need to be worded to be on track – for example it’s not enough to say ‘did I weigh myself’ ? but it would need to be “did I weigh my goal weight of xyz?’

I’d love to hear some of your questions. With your permission I’ll share – and if you’d prefer- keep your identity anonymous.

If you liked this blog, please subscribe and share. If you would like to hear more about a topic that would make your work fun by improving the leaders in your organization please drop us a line at shawna@shawnacorden.com

Until next week – take good care