The Jerk Whisperer
How I got the name the Jerk Whisperer
Every brilliant leader has an achillies heel – some more vulnerable than others So let’s go back to our ancient English – the Illiad – and for images in art – I studied art history and the details in the story are amplified in the art
So achilies is the strongest and the bravest of the warriors sent to Troy
He slays Hector
But later – we learn he has been shot by Paris’s arrow – in the heel – his only spot of vulnerability
Why? His mother – crafty one – had dipped Achilles in the river styx as an infant- holding him by his heel - This area that didn’t get dipped – his only vulnerable spot.
The illiad is in part about misdirection of anger by the leaders
And we talk about leaders – and in this case their achilles heel and perhaps their misdirection of anger
A couple of weeks ago we talked about self-awareness being the #1 area for managers through Csuite to be developed
How do we get there? A vulnerability – it could be a blind spot, rationalization – especially in terms of ethics or arguing why the numbers are wrong, and of late I am seeing ignoring the numbers for emotion
Where are you vulnerable? And not in the good Brene Brown kind of way – the Weaknesses and Threats from a SWOT analysis kind of way
Are you misdirecting anger or frustration?
So we now come to how I got the name the Jerk Whisperer. I have worked with a lot of leaders who have a fatal flaw. Either they never got the feedback or they rationalized they could behave in that way because they were producing great results. The excuse to be the bull in the china shop
So what did I do – I loved them for their flaws – I showed them that they could be even better by embracing them – naming them and owning them. Not in the way that they could name it and pretend because they knew it was ok. But by demonstrating the struggle and effort – naming it and apologizing – asking for help. Growing with it. I could see all of them – I wasn’t putting them on a pedestal and I was not glossing over it. I was naming it and embracing it and molding it while it was pliable because I had their trust. I had earned their trust.
Admins and wives were asking what had I done – what did I say – could I teach them?
They were grateful. Retention went up- and the Execs’ self-esteem went up. That bull in a china shop act was often bluff and bravado compensating for imposter syndrome or their vulnerabilities.
ONTO our tool of the week – personal SWOT analysis – you have your strengths, your weaknesses, opportunities and threats. What’s your vulnerability? Your achllies heel? How are you using it as an excuse or rationalization for your behavior? Let’s get your walk to match the talk by identifying your opportunities for habits and behavior improvement so people WANT to work for you and have fun doing it.
SO WHAT IS THE MINDSET REQUIRED?
Naming the new awareness with an intent to resolve it – mitigate it, insure against it.
SO HERE’S YOUR fieldwork –because COACHING WITHOUT ACTION ISN’T COACHIng – IT’S JUST ENTERTAINMENT
Ask those closest to you – your admin, your spouse – What’s my achillies heel? How do I armor up around it with excuses or behavior? What’s the risk of ignoring it?
I can tell you for those few that didn’t heed my jerk whispering? Exodus of top talent and then they got booted too - If you’d like to work with me drop me a line shawna@shawnacorden.com
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